A woman who is married and has become bereft of marriage status throught desertion, widowhood etc.. can be taken back to the parental gothram or any other gothram.. and the lady can be termed as punarbhoo .. and can once again be gifted back.. the procedure is the same a the marriage originally.
Of course, using the word gift in Kanyadharam might seem as if the lady is a stuff for trade.. but the way the rituals are structured would prove that the woman was given all the honours.. And then there is a ritual before the marriage.. in the Vedic way itself, where the parents and siblings grieve the departure of their own darling sister..(See the marriage mantras in texts like Ekagni kandam.) Have you noticed this Vedic mantra..? And the mantras of Laja homam and the spirit therein also reveals that the lady who is being sent away just because of social necessities is always a very honoured person in their parental family..
The dharanam.. the word is used slightly out of place..
And the dhanam is made not to a man.. but to Vishnu the Lord .. Daashyaami Vishnave Tubhyam.. the idea has a sublime spiritual connotation.. A family just reaching out to the Supreme being..
If you just hold on to a word and criticise… there can be no end.. In fact the innocent Vedic practitioner never meant any slighting to the womanhood..
No Vedic rite can be done by a man without the permissionn of his wife.. He cannot even take sannyasam without the permission of the woman he married.
The Vedic mantras like Sumangaleeriyam vadhoo… what do they mean..
There are many more mantras in Rigvedam, Adapted in yajurvedam too which reveals that the woman who has entered the family of her husband after being given in marriage is the queen or empress of the household of the husband
If a chauvinist male or a shrew of a woman did things beyond the spirit of the Vedas or traditions which evolved with the best of intentions, the fault is not in the traditions..
You can use a knife to stab someone to death, you can use the same knife to cut an apple or cucumber.. The choice is yours..Why blame the knife..
We have often proceeded with the traditions and rituals without knowing or trying to know the spirit involved..
You need not change the mantrams.. You have to change your attitudes.. Otherwise Vedas, Shastras, Shruthis or Smritis cannot be of any help.. But it is meaningless to berate Smritis and traditions without understanding the distortions we have introduced into them by our own arrogance and ignorance..
The girl child is the most beautiful creation of God
The girl child is the most beautiful creation of God..
By being blessed with a girl, we provide a mother to the world.. a mother who is the source of love, prosperity and who symbolizes the eternal continuity of human race..
To be able to give a girls hand in marriage is the ultimate fortune..
I trust the presence of the father in marriage ceremony and giving her hands is not restricted to Hinduism..
But in Hinduism the idea is sublime..Let us see the marriage mantras of Kanyaadaanam.
कन्यां कनक-सम्पन्नां कनकाभरणैर्युताम्।
दास्यामि विष्णवे तुभ्यंब्रह्मलोकजिगीषया।।1।।
विश्वम्भरः सर्वभूताः साक्षिण्यः सर्वदेवताः।
इमां कन्यां प्रदास्यामि पितॄणांतारणाय च।।2।।
Kanyaam kanakasampannaam kanakaabharanairyutaam
daasyaami vishnave thubhyam brahmslokajigeeshayaa
vishwambharaaH, sarvabhootaaH, saakshinyaH sarvadevataaH
imaam kanyaam pradaasyaami pitruunamm taaranaaya cha.
The groom is respected and treated as Lord Vishnu Himself and the father says,” I am giving this nubile child to you Lord Vishnu, She is adorned in Golden jewels, and my desire is that I may attain the realms of Brahma through this act.. The supreme lord who is manifesting himself filling the whole universe, is the witness, all the elements are the witnesses, all the gods are the witnesses, I am giving the hands of this girl unto you, so that the ancestors born in my clan may attain eternal abodes of happiness.”
We believe that the parents and ten generations before them and ten generations after them would attain eternal bliss by this Kanyakaadaanam..
We can believe in it, or we can choose not to believe in it.
the unbreakable knot
पूषा त्वेतो नयतु हस्तगृह्य
अश्विना त्वा प्र् वहतां रथेन
गृहान् गच्च गृहपत्नी यथासौ
वशिनी त्वम् विदथं आ वदासि
इमां समेत पश्यत
सौभाग्यम् अस्यै दत्त्वाया
ऽथास्तं वि परेतन
ऋक् १०-८५-३३ अथ १४–२–२७
सम्राजी श्वशुरे भव
सम्राजी श्वश्र्वां भव
ननान्दरि सम्राजी भव
सम्राही अधि देवृषु
ऋग् १०-८५-४६ अथ १४-२-४४
समञ्जन्तु विश्वे देवाह्
सं आपो हृदयानि नौ
सं मातरिश्वा सम् धाता
समुद्रेष्ट्री दधातु नौ
दीर्घायुरस्तु मे पतिर् जीवाति शरदः शतम्।
इहेमाविन्द्र सं नुद चक्रवाकेव दंपती
इहैव स्तम् मा वि यौष्ठं
विश्वं आयुर् व्यश्नुतं
क्रीळन्तो पुत्रैर् नप्तृभिर्
मोदमानौ त्वे गृहे
पुत्रिणा ता कुमारिणा
विश्वं आयुर् व्यश्नुतः
pūṣā tveto nayatu hastagṛhya
aśvinā tvā pr vahatāṁ rathena
gṛhān gacca gṛhapatnī yathāsau
vaśinī tvam vidathaṁ ā vadāsi
imāṁ sameta paśyata
saubhāgyam asyai dattvāyā
‘thāstaṁ vi paretana
ṛk 10-85-33 atha 14–2–27
samrājī śvaśure bhava
samrājī śvaśrvāṁ bhava
nanāndari samrājī bhava
samrāhī adhi devṛṣu
ṛg 10-85-46 atha 14-2-44
samañjantu viśve devāh
saṁ āpo hṛdayāni nau
saṁ mātariśvā sam dhātā
sanudreṣṭrī dadhatu nau
dīrghāyurastu me patir jīvāti śradaḥ śatam|
ihemmamindra saṁ nuda cakravākeva daṁpatī
ihaiva stam mā vi yauṣṭhaṁ
viśvaṁ āyur vyaśnutaṁ
krīḻanto putrair naptṛbhir
modamānau tve gihe
putriṇā tā kumāriṇā
viśvaṁ āyur vyasnutaḥ
ṛg 8-31- 8
One friend had asked me to indicate some important marriage manthras and accordingly I do it.
The procedural rituals vary from place to place and I shall try to convey the basic rituals in a different individual message. The manthras quoted above are tribute to all ladies who enter the conjugal vow with men..The respect given to the woman in the house as a wife perhaps may not find any parallel in any other culture. There may be the mother icons everywhere, but the importance as a wife herself is underlined without room for equivocation in the hoary traditions recorded in the Vedas. The uniformity in thought can be gauged from the fact that the manthras get repeated in the most ancient rig veda and the comparatively modern atharva veda.
The bride is entering the ritualistic location, her hand held by the god puushan (one form of the sun god) the twin gods of medicine the Ashwins are accompanying her in the chariot.. and she is going away from her house to that of her husband and she is blessed that she may become the ruler of the household and the main spokesperson of the assembly in her husbands place.
The nubile bride who has become sumangalii is introduced to all. ‘This bride has attained the status of a wife..she is bringing fortune to this house..come all of you and look at her…Please wish her full happiness before you return home’.
The bride is blessed to join the supreme place in the household ” May your father in law treat you with affection as if you were a queen. May your mother in law treat treat you with love as if you were a queen. May your sisters in law love and respect you as if you were a queen. May your brothers in law repect and adore you as if you were a queen”
The husband prays for conjugal unity ” May all Gods and all waters unite our hearts. Especially the gods Mathariswa, dhaata, and dheshtri, make us very close.
The bride prays to the gods and elders ” May my husband live long, and we will live together for hundred years…bless us”
The elders pray for the couple ” Join the couple here, Indra… they resemble the chakravaka and its mate. ( The chakravaka is a symbol for mutual devotion of the couple. if one loses its life, the mate will die in grief.)
The lifelong union of the ideal couple as expressed by elders in their blessing “May you two dwell in this house, never parted, you enjoy the full life span as prescribed by vedas, may you have the fotune to play together with your sons and grandsons,”
The prayer of the couple “With sons and daughters abounding, may we live long adorned in rich dresses an precious ornaments”.
Compiled by Shri PR Ramchander.