3.2.11. Reserve Overcome
1251 Of womanly reserve love’s axe breaks through the door, Barred by the bolt of shame before. The axe of lust can break the door of chastity which is bolted with the bolt of modesty.
1252 What men call love is the one thing of merciless power; It gives my soul no rest, even in the midnight hour. Even at midnight is my mind worried by lust, and this one thing, alas! is without mercy.
1253 I would my love conceal, but like a sneeze It shows itself, and gives no warning sign. I would conceal my lust, but alas, it yields not to my will but breaks out like a sneeze.
1254 In womanly reserve I deemed myself beyond assail; But love will come abroad, and casts away the veil. I say I would be firm, but alas, my malady breaks out from its concealment and appears in public.
1255 The dignity that seeks not him who acts as foe, Is the one thing that loving heart can never know. The dignity that would not go after an absent lover is not known to those who are stick by love.
1256 My grief how full of grace, the sorrow I have endured by desiring to go after my absent lover, in what way is it excellent?
1257 No sense of shame my gladdened mind shall prove, when he returns my longing heart to bless with love. I know nothing like shame when my beloved does from love (just) what is desired (by me).
1258 The words of that deceiver, versed in every wily art, are instruments that break through every guard of woman’s heart! Are not the enticing words of my trick-abounding roguish lover the weapon that breaks away my feminine firmness?
1259 ‘I will shun his greeting’; saying thus with pride away I went: I held him in my arms, for straight I felt my heart relent. I said I would feign dislike and so went (away); (but) I embraced him the moment I say my mind began to unite with him!
1260 ‘We will stand aloof and then embrace’: is this for them to say, whose hearts are as the fat that in the blaze dissolves away? Is it possible for those whose hearts melt like fat in the fire to say they can feign a strong dislike and remain so?
3.2.12. Mutual Desire
1261 My eyes have lost their brightness, sight is dimmed; my fingers worn, With nothing on the wall the days since I was left forlorn. My finger has worn away by marking (on the wall) the days he has been absent while my eyes have lost their lustre and begin to fail.
1262 O thou with gleaming jewels decked, could I forget for this one day, Henceforth these bracelets from my arms will slip, my beauty worn away. O you bright-jewelled maid, if I forget (him) today, my shoulders will lose their beauty even in the other life and make my bracelets loose.
1263 On victory intent, His mind sole company he went; And I yet life sustain! And long to see his face again! I still live by longing for the arrival of him who has gone out of love for victory and with valour as his guide.
1264 ‘He comes again, who left my side, and I shall taste love’s joy,’- My heart with rapture swells, when thoughts like these my mind employ. My heart is rid of its sorrow and swells with rapture to think of my absent lover returning with his love.
1265 O let me see my spouse again and sate these longing eyes! May I look on my lover till I am satisfied and thereafter will clear the sallowness of my slender shoulders.
1266 O let my spouse but come again to me one day! I’ll drink that nectar: wasting grief shall flee away. May my husband return some day; and then will I enjoy (him) so as to destroy all this agonizing sorrow.
1267 Shall I draw back, or yield myself, or shall both mingled be, when he returns, my spouse, dear as these eyes to me. On the return of him who is as dear as my eyes, am I displeased or am I to embrace (him); or am I to do both?
1268 O At home, to-night, the banquet spread should crown the toil. Let the king fight and gain (victories); (but) let me be united to my wife and feast the evening.
1269 One day will seem like seven to those who watch and yearn for that glad day when wanderers from afar return. To those who suffer waiting for the day of return of their distant lovers one day is as long as seven days.
1270 What’s my return, the meeting hour, the wished-for greeting worth, If she heart-broken lie, with all her life poured forth? After (my wife) has died of a broken heart, what good will there be if she is to receive me, has received me, or has even embraced me?